Wednesday, 10 May 2023

Domino’s Pizza: Challenging the 30-minute guarantee

Domino's was one of the go-to places for
pizza in Edmonton in the late 1980s.
Source: https://fabrikbrands.com/
dominos-logo-history-dominos-pizza-lo
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When Domino’s Pizza guaranteed delivery within 30 minutes or you get your money back, it was more of a challenge than a promise.

That was just one of my memories of a pizza place that, well, dominated the landscape in the latter part of the 1980s when I was going to school in Edmonton.

Surprisingly good
When I moved into res in 1987, one of the things that opened up to me, and all my floormates, was all the different opportunities to order food. Back then that meant, in large part, ordering pizza.

Because it was relatively easy to get into res, various outlets littered our common areas with flyers. One of the most prominent was Domino’s Pizza, that blue and red themed flyer, and the guarantee of 30-minute delivery.

Early in September, I was sitting in our lounge on the 10th floor of Kelsey Hall, watching TV, when Doug Armitage, our floor coordinator suggested ordering pizza. He went to his room and emerged with a cordless phone and a Domino’s flyer.

Then he suggested something I had never heard of.

“How about pepperoni and pineapple?”

“Sure,” I replied, in my effort to try new things.

It was surprisingly good.

Paying the salary
At the end of that same year, I was down in the lobby, waiting for pizza, and the people I ordered it with. The delivery man came first, and I chatted with him while I waited for my friends who had the rest of the money to pay him.

I knew that the Detroit Tigers and the Detroit Red Wings were owned by the owners of big pizza chains. I just could not remember who.

Earlier that school year, the Detroit Tigers had broken the hearts of my beloved Toronto Blue Jays by sweeping the final three games of the season to take the American League East title.

I asked the delivery man who owned Domino’s.

“Tom Monaghan,” he said, adding Monaghan actually founded the chain.

“He owns a professional sports team too, doesn’t he?” I asked.

“Yes,” he responded. “They won their division this year.”

I just laughed. The money I spent to buy pizza, was going to pay the salaries of the guys who broke my heart.

Maybe it was time to order from Little Caesar’s. Mike Illich owned them, and his Detroit Red Wings sucked at the time.

Race to the top
In my second year of university, Domino’s hit upon the idea of capitalizing on the competitive juices of students, by sponsoring a battle of the floors. The floor that ordered the most pizza by the end of the school year would win a prize.

By then I was the floor coordinator for Fifth Kelsey. We had a fair number of night hawks, myself included, and I thought we ordered a fair bit of pizza.

Then we heard about Sixth Kelsey, our upstairs neighbours. They had guys, and one in particular who was a senior student with a lot more disposable income than your average student, who ordered pizza almost ever night. They ran away with the race.

They punctuated their victory in January. The 10 floors in Kelsey Hall were having a mural painting contest to decorate the back wall of their lounges. For theirs, Sixth Kelsey had a bunch of cartoon characters. One of them in the front left corner was “The Noid”, a mascot from Domino’s with a stack of pizzas nearby. It looked so cool.

Challenge
As the school year went on, and funds ran low, students devised ways to stretch their dollars. One was taking advantage of the Domino’s 30-minute guarantee. It was not uncommon for students to order pizza, then wait at the elevators on the main floor and tie them up or delay the delivery man. Or, they would wait in the lounge for him to show up, and no one would be in the room he was delivering to. He would wait. After a certain amount of time, he would come out into the lounge and, to recover at least some money, sell his pizza at a much lower price to the guys in the lounge.

I did neither of these things, but came to wish I would have. One day, late in the year on Fifth Kelsey, we ordered pizza. The 30 minutes passed and we had no pizza. The delivery man finally appeared, several minutes after the deadline, saying he went to the wrong door.

Low and behold, he said that pizza wasn’t free. Instead, we got 10 per cent off. What a rip off I thought.

After that, I never ordered Domino’s again, and only ate when someone else ordered and paid.

Parting thoughts
I hadn’t thought about Domino’s in 30 years until I saw a commercial the other day. It’s funny. Where I live now there are two local pizza places, and two chains, so there are a lot of choices. There are even more in the wider area, but curiously Domino’s really has a low profile around here.

Yet, for a couple years in the 1980s, it was the go-to place for pizza. The prices were reasonable, the pizza was good, and it came in a decent amount of time. But it also offered the possibility of winning a prize if we bought enough, and getting our money back if they took too long to come.

We achieved neither of those goals, so we just moved on.

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