Remembering The Return of the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman

The cover of "TV Guide" in 1987 advertising

"The Return of the Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman".

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Return_of_the_Six_Million_Dollar_Man_and_the_Bionic_Woman?file=
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Sometimes things are about timing. When I was in Grade 12, in the spring of 1987, the front cover of TV Guide advertised something I vowed I could not miss – “The Return of the Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman”.

Like most boys growing up in the mid to late ‘70s, I looked forward every Sunday night to Steve Austin’s latest adventure on “The Six Million Dollar Man”. Later on, I also waited eagerly for Saturday night’s latest instalment of “The Bionic Woman”.

When, they unceremoniously went off the air, I felt sad and a bit empty.

Now, the story was continuing and I couldn’t wait.

Then I got invited to a house party for the same Sunday night the reunion movie was airing.

Sometimes it’s all about timing.

Pre-party
Back in the 1970s, when people heard the name Steve Austin, the “Six Million Dollar Man” came to mind, not the professional wrestler opening his cans of whoop ass and growling, “Because Stone Cold said so” and “That’s the bottom line”.

For me, “The Six Million Dollar Man” became so much more interesting when Steve Austin re-connected with his high school sweetheart Jaime Sommers. She was a professional tennis player who suffered a catastrophic parachuting accident. Facing certain death with two crushed legs, a crushed left arm and damaged hearing, Steve pleaded with his benefactors at the mysterious OSI to give her the same second chance he got. He begged Dr. Rudy Wells to give Jaime bionic implants.

Against his better judgement, Rudy obliged, giving Jaime the same bionic legs and arm Steve had, as well as a bionic ear. He feared, as he had with Steve, that Jaime’s body may not accept the bionics. There was a real danger her body could reject them, as it would a transplanted liver or kidney.

Everything seemed to go as planned though, as Jaime recovered and trained to the point she could go on her first mission. When she did, tragedy struck. In the pouring rain, her body rejected her bionics, driving her insane resulting in her screaming, clutching her head and destroying a phone booth.

She was sent back to Rudy Wells’ lab where she died on the operating table.

I will never forget the final scene of that episode. As Steve reflects back on his memories with Jaime, Lee Majors is actually singing a tribute to her.

As young as I was, it still moved me – and I hadn’t discovered girls yet.

In the first episode of “The Six Million Dollar Man” the next season, Steve is severely injured and in recovery. His bionic eye is enhanced and, when he is testing it out, he sees the improbable – a woman that looks like Jaime. But that is impossible. Or is it? Turns out, Dr. Michael Marchetti used his experimental cryogenics to save Jaime. There was one serious side effect though – Jaime suffered amnesia. One of the things she did not remember was her relationship with Steve. Worse, trying to remember caused her severe pain. Seeing Steve reminded her of something, but caused more pain. Realizing he was the cause, Steve kissed Jaime goodbye.

That two-parter served as the spin-off for “The Bionic Woman”.

Although I continued to watch “The Six Million Dollar Man”, which became more and more cartoon-like and, quite frankly, ridiculous, I religiously watched “The Bionic Woman”. I never missed an episode when it was on like a Wednesday or Thursday night and on Saturday nights after my bath.

There were some memorable episodes of “The Bionic Woman”. Some were cross-over events with Steve Austin such as their battles with Bigfoot and the Fembots. Others included one where Jaime was replaced by an identical double, which won Lindsay Wagner an Emmy award.

After three years of “The Bionic Woman” and five seasons of “The Six Million Dollar Man”, both shows were cancelled in 1978.

To be continued?
In the 1980s, I started seeing various reunion movies begin to appear on TV. There was “The Return of The Beverly Hillbillies” in 1981, “The Return of the Man from U*N*C*L*E: The Fifteen Years Later Affair” in 1983, and “I Dream of Jeannie…Fifteen Years Later” in 1985. There were others but these three came to mind.

I began to wonder what else would be remade then, one day, I saw that fateful cover of “TV Guide”.

A reunion movie called “The Return of the Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman” was airing that upcoming Sunday night.

House party
By the spring of 1987, I was in Grade 12, and high school life was grand. My best friend and I had a pretty healthy social calendar, and were hanging out with more and different people. We were even getting invited to the occasional house party.

My best friend even asked a girl out and, not only did she say yes, he went on a reasonably successful date with her.

Coinciding with that, one of her best friends was having a house party. Oddly, that friend stopped me in the hall at school the Friday before and invited me. When I went to tell my best friend, he smiled and said he too had been invited.

I had my licence and could get the car when we needed. It sounded like a great time. We were stoked.

Then we both realized something – it was Sunday night, the same time as “The Return of the Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman”.

Joy turned to horror.

Then I thought, as only a high school boy could, to ask if the girls wanted to watch the movie at their place.

You know what the answer was?

“Yes, absolutely, that’s what we were planning to do. We were going to tell you…”

If I was not in love before that, I think I was then.

Sunday night at the movies
By the time we got there, the girls had been partying awhile. No booze or anything like that, but they had a big meal and were on dessert when we got there. If memory serves, it was someone’s birthday.

Anyway, I was all business, fixated on seeing the movie. I was so psyched to see if Steve and Jaime would finally get together.

That was still a couple hours away so we hung out, played games, talked, and ate chips and dip.

Some of the girls, including the one my best friend had had a date with, were talking about the great time they had with a guy named “T.J.” They kept laughing and joking and talking about “T.J.” I began to think is this girl my best friend was interested in, dating this “T.J.”?

Before anything more happened, the movie started.

It was a great reunion movie, but did not have the answers I wanted. That’s because it was obvious they were setting up another movie and, as it turned out, another one after that.

Oh, as for “T.J.”, that was resolved early the following week.

My best friend stopped me between classes one day, and filled me in on what he learned from the girls.

There was no “T.J.”. He had been made up, not so much to make my best friend jealous, but to see how interested he was.

The drama that can only happen in high school.

Parting thoughts
My best friend never did go out with that girl again, and we pretty much never gave her a second thought after that.

As for “The Return of the Six Million Dollar Man and The Bionic Woman”, it was a good movie that I recently located online. I avoided reading any synopsis on it or even a brief summary, because I would like to watch it again. Perhaps I will write a review after I watch it.

Until then, I do know that Steve did not get back together with Jaime until 1994, seven years after the initial reunion movie.

It was in the last of the reunion movies, alternately called “Bionic Breakdown” and “Bionic Ever After?”.

In the end, Steve Austin finally does marry Jaime Austin, and they live happily ever after.