Columbia House: Instant music collection

A typical Columbia House ad in the 1980s.
Source: https://money.cnn.com/2015/08/10
(May be subject to copyright)

There was nothing that opened my musical world and expanded my horizons more than the day I joined Columbia House. Actually, it was the day that first box of tapes arrived in the mail, waiting patiently for me on the kitchen counter.

As advertised
For years, there were ads in magazines and “TV Guide” for Columbia House. The offer seemed too good to be true. You ordered one tape, or record, for half price, which was I think $4.99, and with that you got 10 more tapes, or records, for one cent. The only catch was you had to buy a certain number at full price in the next year or two. The catalogue to choose from was huge, and included virtually all the new releases and classics.

As hard as I tried to find a catch, I could not find one.

So, when a form appeared in the latest issue of “TV Guide”, I filled it out, went to the Coaldale post office, bought a money order and stamp to go with my order, and sent it off.

Then I waited.

Instant collection
What I recall most vividly was how, with that one order, I instantly built a tape collection. Many of those tapes I still own such as “Reckless” by Bryan Adams, “Chicago 17” by Chicago, “All I Need” by Jack Wagner, “Valotte” by Julian Lennon and more.

The one hitch
Then the hitch came. Every month you received a notice from Columbia House with the selection of the month. You had to fill in whether you wanted to buy it or not. If you did not send in the notice with your wishes, they automatically sent you the tape – and a bill. You could still pack it up and send it back, but that was a hassle too.

In subsequent years I have heard it referred to as negative billing, and in some instances it is actually illegal. In the 1990s, the cable companies started negative billing and the federal government passed legislation prohibiting them from doing it.

Anyway, one time, the selection of the month was “Scarecrow” by John Mellencamp. I wanted to buy it, so I just let them send it to me. The flip side was another time when I never sent anything and Columbia House sent me the latest effort by James Taylor. Not only did I not want that, but I had never of him at that point. That has since changed and I don't mind James Taylor now.

The James Taylor incident highlighted another issue – Columbia House was prone to glitches.

The glitches
It started with that first box of tapes. One of the ones I was excited about receiving, and listening to, was “Face Value” by Phil Collins. I was a big fan of his and had already worn out a copy of his latest tape “No Jacket Required” that I bought off the rack. This was another and earlier tape. It had “In The Air Tonight” which was just becoming well known because of its appearance in the TV crime drama “Miami Vice”. When it arrived, most of the tape was missing. If you looked through plastic, it looked like just half a reel of magnetic tape.

So, I dutifully sent them a note letting them know this, and they sent a replacement.

Another part of Columbia House was that you could choose the category you wanted monthly selections from. I initially chose “easy listening” I think, but quickly discovered rock was more my taste. You could make that change any time on the notice card, so I did. The next month nothing changed.

At about the same time, I talked to my brother who was a guru of music. He is 10 years older than me, and was not a fan of “pre-recorded” tapes as he called them. He bought one of the first back in the early '70s and it was prone to jamming. So, instead, he would buy a record and a box of blank TDK brand tapes and record his own tapes. He urged me to do that. We went to Lethbridge and he helped me buy my first box of blank tapes, and that was what I intended to do.

It also meant changing my notice card with Columbia House from tape to record, so I did that. That also had not changed.

First, I received another tape, that I sent back. I wrote another letter. This time a record came, but it was that “James Taylor” record, which was not in my category. My best friend Chris Vining suggested I just write my complaint right on the notice card, which I did.

The next month, I got an apology letter with my order.

Sibling love
Another feature of Columbia House was signing up new members. If you got someone to sign up, all you had to do was have them indicate it was you and you got three free tapes, or records. The order form also contained a section to fill in the three you wanted.

I signed up both my brother and sister. That was pretty cool.

The first free batch of three I received I remember clearly: the "Eddie and the Cruisers soundtrack"; "St. Elmo’s Fire soundtrack"; and "Vision Quest soundtrack".

Side effects
A few months after joining Columbia House, something strange started to happen. I got a seed catalogue in the mail. A couple weeks later it was some other junk mail, and it happened a few weeks after that. It was all addressed to Rob Vogt, Box 952, Coaldale, Alberta T0K 0L0.

My mom suspected it was because I joined Columbia House. It was only later I learned these companies sold their mailing lists to companies that used them to send out fliers, brochures, catalogues and other promotional materials. The funny thing was I really didn’t mind. I was 15 and didn’t get a lot of mail, so it was just cool to get mail – any mail.

Easy to get in but not out
Everything chugged along until I left home to go to university. Both my mom and Vining’s mom told us they didn’t want that mail to keep coming once we were gone. Vining and I were going to room together, so he actually gave Columbia House his new mailing address and he started getting his notices and selections in Edmonton.

I did nothing, so I occasionally got a call from my mom reminding me to deal with it. I was still a bit irritated over all those issues over broken tapes and ignored requests.

The thing was, both of us had fulfilled our commitment, so we could leave at any time.

Again, Vining told me to just write right on the notice card we were quitting. He had done it, and they were leaving him alone.

So, I did the same, and my association with Columbia House ended.

Parting thoughts
Every so often in the years since I quit, I have thought about re-joining Columbia House. The deal was as good as ever and, more importantly, I could update my music collection instantly.

It is funny how so much has changed, and something like Columbia House is no longer relevant. Few people buy media such as records, tapes or CDs. Music is all digital, and purchased by the song more than anything. Even the method of payment is different. Money orders are still around, but credit cards, e-transfers, and online banking are the norm.

Still, for a kid getting into music, there was so no easier, and cheaper way, than by joining Columbia House.

It was an instant music collection.